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Motivation

I think for me the pleasure, passion, purpose idea is really true. Whenever I feel shit I usually watch movies or go drink and small talk with my friends, but while these things are nice they don't make me feel sustainably good. I feel much better when I have a purpose, even if it's a really small step towards something bigger than myself, and even better if I'm good at it.

I also think, at least for me, it's important to look for purpose and inspiration in everything. There is always something you to learn. Like, I worked at McDonalds for several years, and most of the time it sucked. But I wrote this blog post about what I learned there, and it went viral and ended up getting translated to like 10 different languages and published in a book which was awesome and would have never happened if I hadn't looked at the positive!

I'm embarrassed to say my purpose/goal cos it seems too big and Tall Poppy Syndrome tells me I can't do it, but I guess that's the point. Basically I want to massively change the world with technology/business/whatever. Like on a Steve Jobs/Elon Musk kind of level. I want to be a person that history looks back on and goes 'Holy fuck what would've the world been like without her?'

The resiliance stuff was cool, but I think for me it wasn't super relevant, cos weirdly even though I have depression I have high self esteem? I quite like failure (at least professionally/ with projects) because it gives me more information about what to learn/do next. I don't like personal failure, because often that involves hurting someone, and I think I'd be psychopathic if that didn't bother me. Possibly I could try developing less of a grapsing/aversion like relationship with personal failure though.