When I was working at McDonald's I had a pretty shit leader, mainly because he didn't have compassion for others. He was good at ordering stock on time, and all that maintenence stuff, but he would berate workers that had to leave early to look after sick children/ for other things outside of their control. He would also emphasise his superiority all the time, laughing at teenagers cos he was faster at making burgers than them. Most of the low level staff were not fans of him, and everyone was happy when he went on holiday and was replaced by a really nice guy, who sometimes forgot to organise stuff but was respectful to everyone.
On a more positive note, a director/friend I worked with to produce a play was a great leader. The play was exploring sensitive issues, like sexual assault and mental health, which were based on real people's stories. Many of the cast and crew had their own issues that they were working through. Instead of pushing them super hard or focusing on the final product, she made checking in with each other, talking and forming trust a key part of the process. Not only did this make it more fun to work together, it made the play better. We all felt heard, contributed ideas and felt like we were building something greater than ourselves. After that project many of us still work together on other creative projects, not for money but for fun and community, which for me just showed how successful the project was.
I liked this lesson because it reminded me that ambition and compassion are not mutually exclusive, and in fact are more effective together. Ambition without compassion often results in bad leadership, and compassion without ambition doesn't result in action or change.
This is probably my favourite meditation so far, and one that I've done before without having a name for it. It makes me feel like I'm doing something, even if it just is creating good vibes. Sometimes when I do normal meditation I feel like I'm just sitting there doing nothing, so I end up not doing it.
During Phase Zero I think the most important parts of the SCARF model for me were Status and Autonomy. Most of my best moments were related to learning a new skill or cracking a difficult problem, which gave me a 'status reward.' Most of my worst moments were when I had no idea how to begin solving a problem or couldn't understand a strange instruction, because I felt like I had no control. In general I think autonomy is a big trigger for me. I always freak out if I feel like I *have* to do something, especially if the purpose of doing it is to avoid someone else being angry at me.
I'm not sure how all these things will apply to bootcamp yet. I expect Status and Relatedness will both be very important, as we'll be working in pairs/groups a lot of the time. I think the important thing is to be kind and respectful to everyone, and avoid putting myself down if I don't understand a concept that someone else understands.
I didn't really have any difficult conversations to have this week, so I didn't get a chance to practice, but that's ok with me! I think in general I'm pretty good with conflict, but I think that being more open when my feelings get hurt would be good to practice, because currently I usually say nothing and then privately panic about it.